I’ve just come back from a weekend in fantastic company. On Saturday night I went over to Darlington to visit my mate Ben who I haven’t seen for far too long and I had a great time. Not only did I spend the time with Ben, and indeed his girlfriend who’s house it was, but I was also in the fantastic company of Ben’s girlfriend’s four year old Son, Joshua.
Being in the company of kids is fantastic, isn’t it? I’ve never really had much contact with younger kids, even relatives really. Apart from me, my sister, my mum and my dad, the rest of my family live away in London, so it’s not like we’re surrounded with even the new born relatives, let alone other younger members of the family.
That all changed when my sister got pregnant. On January 20th 2008 my sister gave birth to a beautiful baby boy called Dillon, and even though I was 26 at the time, it was my first real contact with a baby. Which is unbelievable when you think about it. How could I have lived to 26 and not had any real contact with a newborn? The mates which I’d grown up with hadn’t had kids yet, and with no relatives in the same town, nor any new mums living round near my parents way, so staggeringly that was the case. Am I alone in not having much contact with babies?
Even with my own lack of experience with those younger-types, I still love being in their company when someone brings a baby round (usually their own child, too) Today was no different, and hanging around with 4 year old Josh was a joy. We mostly played with his Batman toys and Batmobile, thinking up a story as we played. I say we, I of course mean he was directing the story, and it was quite an epic. Batman had a dog, called Batdog (even though the toy was that of a lamb). As well as Batdog, batman and the Batcar, we also had a guy called Aquaman, and some bad guy with black spikes on his arms.
It was quite a complex story arc, and one that didn’t really introduce characters that well, as well as not including a lot of dialogue, but I didn’t want to say anything to Josh, it would’ve only upset him.
First of all was well with Batman and Aquaman. Nothing could separate those two, they even learned the ‘fist-touch’ which they did whenever they met up after killing bad guys. Then, after killing either 17 or 100 bad guys (it was never fully explained, but it seemed like quite a lot either way) the friend’s relationship started to strain. This one time Batman flew off, leaving Aquaman on top of the couch as he was unable to fly away. Luckily Batman then gave Aquaman the power of flight (just because he can do that) so Aquaman started to fly. Then, as quick as he had been granted the power of flight, Batman took it away. Aquaman crashed down to the floor after flying through the air for 17/100 miles. Aquaman was a little annoyed, but Batman allowed him to stand on the roof of the Batcave so all was well.
Again Batman flew off and as Aquaman was still reeling from his last experience of flying, he was a little reticent to fly again. Batman then said a woman was on top of the arts and crafts box otherwise known as the Batcave. Aquaman then climbed up on top of the box, but it then turned out Batman was lying. Aquaman was upset, but was told to cheer up by Batman. How nice.
Next thing Batman had a Batdog, which looked like a Lamb, but Aquaman didn’t want another argument so stayed quiet. Aquaman wanted a four-legged companion as well but as there was only one dog he had to make do with a Bic pen. Aquaman was silently upset, but stayed strong as he didn’t want to upset Batman. Batman then said that the pen could be a spear, which cheered Aquaman up a bit.
Then we had dinner so Aquaman and Batman were put to one side and looked longingly at our gorgeous roast dinner.
After dinner Batman and Aquaman were up to their old tricks again, but this time it was Batman’s birthday, so they had a party. Turns out that whenever it’s Batman’s Birthday, it’s also Batdog’s Birthday, so it was a double celebration. The two friends played games like Music Statues (Batman won every time) and they also danced to ‘Poker Face’ and ‘Sex on Fire’.
Batman had to keep leaving the party to kill more bad guys, but the party carried on fine. Except when we were told to wave as Batman kept flying past the Batcave. This happened every 40 seconds, as did the announcement that it was still Batman’s Birthday (and Batdog’s birthday too). For his Birthday, Batman got a Spiderman outfit, obviously.
After the party it was Christmas. And as is typical at Christmas time, things got messy. Batman was out killing badguys and a bad guy-turned-good because it was Batman’s birthday came round for party food and the Okey Kokey. Not only that but Santa Claus also came round. Originally he came round to give presents to everyone but as they were all awake he found it very hard. Santa kept asking Batman if he would go to sleep so he could give him his presents but Batman wasn’t listening and just constantly asked Santa if he wanted to see the Batmobile (which at that time had transformed into the Batship). Santa said no about 14 times before he gave in.
Santa then tried to give everyone else their presents and finished up by giving Batdog some cheese. Batdog wasn’t very happy about this and mauled Santa on the face and Bum. Santa then died. Batman came back home and wanted to know what happened but as Batdog couldn’t speak (even though he was singing earlier at the Birthday party) he kept schtum and said nothing. Batdog later went on to eat the badguy-turned-good because he didn’t know he was a good guy for one day. Both Santa and the bad/good guy went to Heaven at the same time to the tunes of ‘Goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend, you have been the one, you have been the one to me’, the James Blunt song of yesteryear.
That entire story was concocted in a 4 year-old’s head, amazingly. I find it hard enough writing this every day but that little guy thought up a story spanning an entire afternoon’s playtime. Children’s minds, especially at that age when they can talk and actually formulate thoughts and sentences are quite special little things, really. They’re a joy to be around, and they absolutely amaze me. Well done Josh, it was a great story. I just feel a little sorry for Santa. Santa who got his bum bitten off.
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